3 Ideas in 2 Minutes on Projecting Confidence
The Monkey Dance, Inflection & Plot Armour
I. The Monkey Dance
Of the many ways to project confidence and strength, the Monkey Dance is perhaps the most entertaining. At least when observed from a distance.
The Monkey Dance is a status ritual almost always between young men. The basic pattern is a hard stare, followed by a verbal challenge ("What you lookin' at?") followed by an approach, often trying to look bigger and tougher, then contact, either a two-handed push on the chest or a finger poke, then a punch, usually a wild, looping overhand swing.
Both people play. The stares, verbal challenges and chest pushing are often mutual. Sometimes the punches are tentative and followed by a step back. The ideal is for friends to step in and separate the 'fighters' so that they have established a reputation for being willing to fight without actually getting hurt. […] Like bighorn sheep butting heads, it's a safe way to establish dominance in a group, and is probably biologically determined.
—Rory Miller, Meditations on Violence
II. Inflection
The use of our voice is a more subtle way to handle difficult situations with confidence. According to former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss, there are two essential inflections we should be aware of.
Speaking with an upward inflection (voice rising at the end of a sentence) makes us sound inquisitive and curious. It’s ideal to de-escalate a situation. A downward inflection (voice falling at the end of a sentence) will sound more declarative. It’s perfect if we’re stating a fact or want to convey that our position is immovable.
Both inflections work great with the Late Night FM DJ Voice. The art lies in our ability to use the right tone in the right situation at the right time.
Source: Never Split the Difference
III. Plot Armour
Who needs to project confidence if they have Plot Armour? This film trope explains why fictional heroes tend to survive even the deadliest situations. Because they’re needed later in the plot.
Indiana Jones, for instance, regularly enjoys this shield of protection courtesy of the writing room. Surviving a nuclear blast in a refrigerator seems a bit far-fetched, though.
I’m sure you can think of many other examples. While supporting actors and nameless extras drop like flies, the hero seems invincible. At least until the final confrontation with the big bad villain. 🐘
Have a great week,
Chris
themindcollection.com
P.S.: Check out my latest post featuring 5 Zen Stories Worth Contemplating for Years (Or Not at All)